101 Ways to Annoy the Hell out of Sesshoumaru
by DaughterOfGryffindor
Summary: Yeah, we annoy him...and strange enough he hasn't killed us....loads of OOC-ness. You have been warned..... ON HIATUS
1. Ways 1 through 5

Author: Hey everyone! Here's the story you asked for!

**Sesshoumaru: Get on with it, human girl.**

Me: You're mean. Maybe, I won't write about you.

**Sesshy: Get on with it.**

Only if you say the disclaimer.

**FINE! This author does not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters.**

Good job! Now on with the fic!

**You have too much enthusiasm.**

I know. Also, people no Inukag. My sister wants Inuyasha. So, yeah.

XOXOXO

**WTAS 1: Invite random fan girls to play with his hair.**

"Um…"Urvi (my twin sister) said.

"What human!" Sesshoumaru asked.

" I kinda invited some people to…um, _mumbles something_"

"Invited some people to what?"

"Didya tell him yet?" Inuyasha asked.

"I'm trying."

"Oh, well they're here."

"NOW! Geez, they're fast."

"Will someone tell me what is going on?"

"OMFG! They're behind you."

"Haha. Sesshoumaru is in for godknowswhat."

"SESSHOUMARU, WE LOVE YOU!" The fan girls cried.

"Shit."

"Better start running. They're after your hair."

"What do they want with my HAIR?"

"A piece of it, DUH."

_Starts running. _

"I'll get you."

_Inuyasha and Urvi roll on the floor laughing._

**Fin**

**WTAS 2:Stare at him continuously, no matter where he goes or what he does**

(They're at my house, just so you know.)

"You know the world is a fluff hating place, right?" asked Urvi."Yup, no fluffy things allowed." He didn't notice what they said. They were silent for the first 15 minutes. A _thunk! _woke them from their thoughts. They all turned to see Miroku, his forehead resting on the table, fast asleep. Shaking their heads, they returned to their meal. All except Urvi. She began staring at Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha noticed this and his eyes grew red with jealously.

Urvi noticed this and gave him a look. She leaned over and whispered, "It's only to annoy him." She smiled at the "Hmph"-ing noise he made. She leaned in and gave him a fast kiss on the lips. She sat back in her seat. After a few minutes, she resumed staring at Sesshoumaru.

After about 5 minutes, he felt someone's gaze on him. Looking up, he saw the girl staring at him. Confused, he looked at his plate. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her still staring. Careful for no one to see, he glanced across the table to look at Inuyasha. He saw that his eyes were red and Sesshoumaru gulped. _'Oh boy...' _he thought. Coughing nervously, Sesshoumaru shifted around in his seat. Keeping his gaze on his plate, he was still aware of her stare on him.

Looking up again, he watched the girl watch him intently. Taking a deep breath, he stood up, took his plate into the kitchen, and put it in the sink. He snapped his fingers and Jaken came as soon as he did and started washing the dishes. Walking back into the living room, he felt the girl's gaze upon him once again. He also saw Inuyasha looking like he wanted to pull his insides out.

"STOP STARING AT ME!" he yelled and ran out of the room. Urvi snorted and broke into laughter.

**Fin **

**WTAS 3: Watch him do jumping jacks with one arm, tell him that they are a magic to regrow the arm**

Hey, Sesshoumaru.

Yes?

Do you want to regrow your arm?

Why?

Because, I know magic to regrow you arm. _Shows him how to do a jumping jack._

Like this?

Yup.

_A few hours later…_

Why is Sesshoumaru doing jumping jacks? Kagome asked.

I don't know, Urvi said innocently.

Sesshoumaru, why are you doing jumping jacks?

You mean its not magic to regrow my arm?

_Bursts into laughter. _

No!

_Sesshy screams in frustration, and runs away._

What happened to Sesshoumaru? Inuyasha asked doing jumping jacks.

**Fin**

**WTAS 4: Cuddle his fluffy tail.**

Human girl, what are you doing?

Cuddling your tail.

Why?

'Cause it's fluffy.

Go cuddle the mutt's tail.

He doesn't have one.

Leave my precious tale alone.

_Raises eyebrow._

Your. Precious. Tail.

Yes. Now leave.

No.

_Screams in frustration._

Bye, Fluffy.

**Fin**

**WTAS 5: Make random insults.**

Hello fluffy-sama!

Hello.

Ewwwww. Eye liner!

What?

You have tacky clothes!

I do not!

Fur is so out of season!

It is not. It said so on your inter-box thing.

You look like Inuyasha!

That half-breed? No!

I can beat my siblings!

Shut up! I am the all powerful Sesshoumaru.

All powerful? You've been chasing Naraku for how long?

Hmph!

Hahahahah! You lost to your little brother!

I did not!

Did you dye your hair?

That other girl did…

Oh where oh where could my fluffy be, oh where oh where could he be . . .

Quit!

Aww, what an adorable little puppy, wuppy.

I most certainly am not a puppy.

I have Tetsusaiga and you don't. (Hold up sword from toy store)

AHHHHHHHHH!_Runs away and faints._

**Fin**

If you guys have any ideas, I'm open. 'Cause writers block is a bitch.


	2. Ways 6 through 10

Hey guys…sorry for updating sooner and I won't waste time making excuses so if my friends here would make the disclaimer….

**Hojo:** This authoress does not own Inuyasha

**Akitoki:** or any of its characters…

**Me:** Thanks guys…now on with the fic…oh wait I have to insert an authors note here….I am the same author from before I just was pretending to be 2 people and there will be Inukag in this chapter and all coming chapters. With that said and done, on we go….

**WTAS # 6 **_(thanks ArgentLuvzCaffiene!)_

Hey Sesshoumaru come sniff this, I said holding out some gasoline. What is it?, he questioned suspiciously. I don't know that's why I'm asking you. He sniffed it. And passed out. A couple of hours passed….SESSHOUMARU, YOU IDIOT! YOU GOT SARAH PREGNANT IN YOUR INEBRIATED STATE. I SHOULD KILL YOU FOR THIS. AND ON TOP OF THAT SHE'S HAVING TWINS….I HATE YOU….What? Sesshoumaru questioned. Then realization hits…I DID WHAT?! YEAH, YOU GOT HER PREGNANT AND SHE'S HAVING TWINS…Damn, he thought…I'm sorry, he pleaded with me. Not helping you, bud. I said. Inuyasha and Kagome snickered….HAH! IN YOUR FACE! We're just kidding…you didn't do anything…there's a clunking sound. We turn around to see that Sesshoumaru has fainted.

**Fin**

**WTAS # 7 **_(thanks to AnimeAngelofDeath)_

I stalk over to where Fluffy is sleeping. I jump on him. AAAAHHHHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU EVIL LEPRECHAUNS!!! Fluffy screams. I raise my eyebrow in speculation…_I'll do something about that later…_I think. Get off of me girl! Fluffy-sama yells. NOT UNTIL YOU ADMIT TO BEING A CROSSDRESSER WHO ENJOYS PUTTING ON MAKE-UP AND IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH NARAKU!!! But I'm not, he protests. Like I care, I growl…Later…….Hey Guys, Sesshoumaru has something to tell you…I'M A CROSSDRESSER WHO ENJOYS PUTTING ON MAKE-UP AND IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH NARAKU!!! I knew it, Miroku yelled. Sesshoumaru runs out.

**Fin**

**WTAS # 8 **_(thanks to a lot of people…due to popular demand we're gonna insult him again)_

Hey, Sesshoumaru.

_Yes?_

Why don't you have cute ears like Inu?

_Because I am a full demon._

Why are you so old but don't have a mate?

_I don't need one._

(yeah right ) You're just pissed cause everybody likes Inu better.

_Am not (_ Sessh runs away screaming about how he's better than Inu…yeah right)

**Fin**

**WTAS # 9 **_(thanks to shayla)_

Ahem, wanna hear a song?

_Not really._

I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes.

_Stop no more. My ears are bleeding._

Hmm…He collapsed. Oh well, I skip away whistling.

**Fin**

**WTAS # 10 **_(thanks to sorcerousfang)_

I grab my favorite mallet that is invisible to everyone but me and head towards the living room. WHACK!

**OW! Who was that…What was that?**

What was what? I ask innocently.(He turns back around) WHACK!

**DAMMIT! WHO WAS THAT. IT FREAKIN HURT!**

I'm serious. What are you talking about, Sessh?

This continues for about thirty minutes until Sesshoumaru is a bloody quivering mass of paranoid nerves….

**IT'S THOSE DAMN LEPRECHAUNS!!!!**

Sesshoumaru faints….

**Fin**

So how was it good, bad? Tell me hit the purple box…or I'll slice you apart with my chainsaw! J


	3. Ways 11 through 15

Hello my faithful readers! I know that I haven't updated in forever and I won't complain about midterms (which were from hell!!) or my evil teachers (cough Mrs. Boudreaux cough) or whatever. The disclaimer by...ME!!! I don't own Inuyasha or any of its characters, Rumiko Takahashi does...but damn it! I wish she would adopt me, but I can't speak Japanese well, so we'd have nothing to talk about, 'cept Pocky!! That's some good stuff...yummy!

**WTAS #11**

Sesshoumaru, we're going to France!

Why must this Sesshoumaru go?

'Cause I said so!! DON'T MAKE ME GET THOSE EVIL LEPRECHAUNS!

NO!!! NOT THE LEPRECHAUNS!!!

So you're coming?

I suppose.

(drags everyone including Moe-chan and Beevo-chan off to France)

Sesshoumaru, would you like to tell all the French people that you are powerful?

Yes, this Sesshoumaru would.

Tell them in French. Repeat after me: _je suis le livre de fromage._

_Je suis le livre de fromage?_

Yes. (watches Sesshoumaru yell at poor random French people)

JE SUIS LE LIVRE DE FROMAGE! JE SUIS LE LIVRE DE FROMAGE! JE SUIS LE LIVRE DE FROMAGE! JE SUIS LE LIVRE DE FROMAGE! JE SUIS LE LIVRE DE FROMAGE!

(Moe-chan raises an eyebrow)He's the book of cheese?!?!

(Beevo-chan shakes her head) What an idiot...

(I find Sesshoumaru) Sesshoumaru, it's okay for you to be proud that you're a cheese book, but you're scaring everyone...they think you're stark raving bonkers.

I'm WHAT?!?!

Yeah, didn't you know what you were saying?

_Poor Sesshoumaru faints._

**Fin**

**WTAS #12: **_thanks to Readerfreak10_

Sesshoumaru goes to bathe. I switch his shampoo, replace his clothes, and hide his swords.

_Half an hour later..._

AHHH!!!! WHAT THE $#!!!! WHY IS EVERYTHING PINK?!?!

I laugh softly. Sesshoumaru comes out with light pink hair wearing a hot pink kimono with pink stitching.

What's wrong Sesshoumaru? I ask.

I AM PINK!!!

(starts taking pictures) Really?

What are you doing?

(looks totally innocent) Nothing...

_Later in a meeting with the other Lords and Ladies..._

Laughter bursts out...

ACK!! Poor Sesshoumaru has fainted from embarrassment.

**Fin**

**WTAS # 13: **_thanks to Lexxy- hime_

Special Ops Urvi sneaks into Sesshoumaru's room. I take his hot pink kimono...Lord Fluffy's hair is mostly silver...but there are pink streaks...grin

_Hours later..._

WHERE IS MY HAORI?!?

Dunno, but put a towel on, it's not polite to walk around in the nude...

(Sesshoumaru puts on a towel, while I send an e-mail to 3000 rabid fangirls)

_More hours later..._

SESSHOUMARU, WE LOVE YOU AND YOUR NEAR NUDE STATE!!!

(Sesshoumaru runs but is tackled by what seems to be a very..._masculine _fangirl...

Poor Fluffy...

**Fin**

**WTAS #14 **

All right guys you know what to do right?

(little people dressed up as leprechauns with very convincing sharp teeth) We know our jobs.

Good, I'll get Sesshoumaru. Oh, Sesshoumaru!!!!

What?

Look leprechauns!!! Aren't they cute? (little leprechaun people start gnashing their teeth)

(Sesshoumaru sweatdrops) Why are they here?

To kill you of course! Why did you think they were here?

(Sesshoumaru starts to back away...)

AFTER HIM!!!!!

Sesshoumaru is chased once again...

I told him I'd do something with that.

**Fin**

**WTAS #15**

Sesshoumaru come here!!!(Sesshoumaru comes near)

What?

RAPE!!!

(he backs away) 0.o What?!?!

Come here silly...(comes close again)

What?

RAPE!!!!

This continues for the rest of the day, until...

I AM NOT RAPING YOU!!!

(Miroku) You're raping the author?!?! How could you?! She writes your story, you sicko!!!

I Am- Sesshoumaru faints from lack of sleep, food, and the attacking of the day...

**Fin**

Alright guys, I know that this's short but my parents are like trying to read over my shoulder...review because I really want to reach a hundred reviews before this is over...read review and recommend...and I love all of ya!!! Also a beta would be appreciated...PM me and I'll review over it and get back to you! Remember, Sesshoumaru is a cheese book!! XD


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